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Taking a small step down from the bachelor’s fridge means an incredibly limited base meal, with unlimited amount of random condiments. In this case, I was pushing the boundaries on Thanksgiving leftovers and other one-off dishes, on top of having nothing of real substance as the main feature. What’s pictured above will hopefully be the last saddest lunch ever witnessed. Leftover mac-n-cheese that you’ve seen, green peas, and stuffing.
Coolio, I’ll be taking the crown back now.
It hasn’t been an industry secret that Coolio, of “Gangsta’s Paradise” fame and internet video chef, was coming out with a cookbook. I’ve actually enjoyed his bat-shit crazy demeanor while cooking up some delicious dishes like “Swashbucklin’ Shrimp” and “Cool-a-Cado”.
But damn it, Coolio: you’ve crossed the line.
Since my early beginnings as an amateur wanna-be chef, I’ve dabbled in a myriad of off-the-beaten-path items, referred to affectionately by friends, family, and myself alike as “GHETTO GOURMET”!
ME! I COINED AND CREATED THAT TERM!”
Go ahead, reader of mine. Go to your local bookstore, and thumb through a few pages of his book. Does “Banana Ba-ba-ba-bread” sound like something homies in the hood chow down on?! Or how about “Tricked Out Westside Tilapia”? You know the only fish that people in the ghetto know about? I do. It’s called “FISH”.
I bet you’re not going to find true gems that I’ve painstakingly prepared and perfected over the years. What, no spaghetti and hot dogs?! Egads, not a ham, turkey, and american cheese on white with ketchup?! Blasphemy.
Coolio is as ghetto gourmet as Vanilla Ice serving breakfast at a Waffle House.
Coolio is as kitchen pimp as Kriss Kross working a drive-thru window at Burger King.
Hell, THIS guy is more ghetto pimp than Coolio EVER will be:
This injustice will not STAND!
On a side note, I really can’t wait to try out Fork Steak & Heavenly Ghettalian Garlic Bread!
[via Village Voice]
Moving forward, things like this will be classified as ghetto gourmet. Or, “putting random crap from my fridge into a pan”.
Leftover rotini pasta, cubed breaded chicken, and peas, sauteed in garlic, olive oil, and a little butter. Cracked black pepper and parmesan cheese over the top. Simple, and cost nothing (this time around at least).